


Your Day Will Come

by Rosefemme



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kylo POV, mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm, this is kinda sad sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosefemme/pseuds/Rosefemme
Summary: Pull out you heart to make being alone easy.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Your Day Will Come

He wanted to forget that day so badly. He tried not to dwell on it, to keep pursuing forward. But bits and pieces of it scattered across his memory would constantly come crawling back into his mind. And whenever it did it was always the same thing;

The weight of his saber plunged into Han Solo’s chest. The shrill scream of the scavenger girl distantly echoing through the base. His father’s warm, calloused hand caressing his cheek, the same cheek that would be ripped open by his family’s lightsaber later. And the worst of all, the dark shape of the man whose life he just stole, falling out of his peripheral vision, never to be seen again. 

His body was kept to himself. There was insurmountable strength in covering his face. He could become something greater than a shy boy or a forgotten son. That strength he found needed to be clung to no matter the cost. But that day he lost it, twice. He was foolish enough to expose himself to the scavenger first. Why was he so pulled to her to begin with? She was an enemy. Snoke taught him to never treat his enemies like this. But some instinctive part of him warned him to be gentle with her. And he listened to it. He knew he would pay for it later. If there were any traits he could begrudgingly admit he inherited from his parents, it was his father’s impulsivity and his mother’s stubbornness. 

The mere mention of his parents seared into him like a knife. That night he knew Han was near. He knew he had to make a choice. But all the time spent restoring himself with the supreme leader, it vanished as soon as he heard the voice of his father. He needed to prove to him wasn’t his son anymore. He tried to keep his gaze steely, tone unafraid. He felt himself cracking. He was suddenly a child again looking at his father’s rugged face, warn from age. And suddenly he realized he didn’t hate him. As much as he wanted to he couldn’t hate him or his mother, or the memories he secretly cherished of them. 

Icy fingers wrapped around his heart. The supreme leader would find out. He couldn’t disappoint him again, not after everything he did for him. He had to make a choice. He felt the panic taking over him, breaking him further. Han could see it, everyone could see it. He couldn’t be that boy anymore. He had to be strong. He made his choice. He made the right one. At least he thought he did. He couldn’t contemplate on it much longer until a searing pain entered his side. The shot of a bowcaster pierced through him. He supposed this sealed his fate. His family was gone now.

The wound would heal into a scar. There were so many scars scattered across him he had forgotten where most of them had come from. One's self-inflicted, others from snoke, some from battle, a few from training with the knights. There only was one he couldn’t hide, as much as he wanted. A thin faded slash diagonally crossing his face. It was the only scar he had received from her.

She was strange. That was the only way he knew how to describe her. It wasn’t so much that she was a scavenger from grimey Jakku. He had seen powerful Jedi come from all corners of the galaxy, high born and dirt poor alike. He had trained with them, had them in his bloodline. But never had he seen one with some much power coursing through them. He felt it in the jungles of Takodana and when he searched through her memories in the interrogation cell. She was like a livewire, compressed and packed and aching to explode at any moment. So much of the force was in her, but not the warm lull he regularly felt from a Jedi. She was bursting with light yes, but there was an intensity to it he hadn't quite felt before. It was like he was reaching towards an open flame. It was a sensation he hadn’t experienced in many, many years. The last time he felt a heat like that was in himself. 

He couldn’t understand why the saber called to her. It was his birthright, his to claim. But it chose her instead. He wished he had understood how foolish he was in that moment.With his adrenaline and fury running high, he should have known she was feeling an identical sensation. He thought she wouldn’t be able to face him, she clearly didn’t have the training yet. But she caught on quickly and he assumed she must be skilled in defending herself. 

Her movements felt instinctive to him, like he knew what she would do next, yet she still surprised him at every turn. She was feral, switching between panic and ferocity. He could feel her fear, she was doing whatever she could to get away from him. The voice encouraging him to be gentle came back, but he shoved it away.

He was losing blood from his wound. His strength would soon begin to wane while her’s grew stronger. He felt fear, genuine fear. He had to find a way out. 

She needed someone to guide her. She had the ability to be just as powerful as him. He could teach her and she could be his equal. He kept up his barrage while she frantically tried to escape him. He felt a rift in the ground. The planet was quickly crumbling. As if by fate, the earth split apart up ahead. He took his chance. 

She had nowhere to go. He felt it deep inside her mind. Not just because she was backed up against the cliff’s edge. She didn’t have a home, or someone to care for her. Why would she say no? They were locked together for a moment. He could feel all of her practically. Something began to blossom in her. Underneath her fear, and her confusion. She finally understood. The force took hold of her. 

It was like their minds had molded together for a moment. He felt anger, intense anger from her, and a sudden strength she wasn’t showing before. She had latched on to some of his force abilities. The fight shifted. She was fiery and agile, quickly overpowering him. He wasn’t prepared for it. 

A burning pain exploded as her saber ripped through his face, down his neck, searing into his shoulder. By fate, the planet tore again. He lay on the ground defeated, watching the blue hue of her saber grow fainter. 

He was close to blacking out, his mind and body pushed to it’s limit. The voice came back. 

“It’s her.” 

She was the answer.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this sometime last year before tros came out while I was seeing a bunch of dumb discourse on kylo for the 1075th time and I ended up making this because he's a character I empathize with a lot. I planned on writing one for each movie but then I lost the inspiration soooo not sure I'll continue this. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1967zSpJ4j0


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